


Shattered glass

by Chuuakus



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Blood, Body Dysphoria, Dysphoria, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Shuichi breaks a mirror, Shuichi's parents are asshats, Trans Saihara Shuichi, Tw for that, i'm on a roll with the angst ha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23506576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chuuakus/pseuds/Chuuakus
Summary: Should looking into a mirror be so painful?A question that echoes in Shuichi’s mind a little more often than he’d like it to.
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 108





	Shattered glass

Should looking into a mirror be so painful? 

A question that echoes in Shuichi’s mind a little more often than he’d like it to. It’s-- a simple thing really. Looking at your reflection, making sure you look alright, and then walking away. That’s how it _should_ be. But it’s just-- not. At least not for him. Because when he looks into a mirror, what stares back at him isn’t what he wants to see. It’s never _right._ What he sees in the mirror is a girl, a girl that tries way too hard to pass a male. It’s almost funny, in a way. It’s truly pathetic how he can break down just by seeing his own face.

He reaches out to touch the glass, his fingers leaving smudges on the smooth surface. It’s gross-- touching a mirror. Because now he’ll have to clean his fingerprints off of it so it’s still usable. But maybe if he smudges the glass enough he won’t be able to tell what he looks like anymore-- maybe he’ll be able to see a man staring back at him in the mirror. 

His fingerpads turn white from the pressure he pushes on the glass. He’s going to break it if he doesn’t stop-- but he can’t pull his fingers away, as if some imaginary force has glued his fingers down to the mirror. He just wants it gone. He doesn’t want to see himself anymore.

There’s a crack near the top, then two and--

The whole thing shatters.

It startles him at first. Not knowing he even possesed the strength to break an entire mirror with just his hand. He’s bleeding now, though, and he’s going to get blood all over the carpet if he doesn’t move and go bandage himself up-- but he can’t. He really just _can’t_. His knees are already giving out beneath him and then.. he’s kneeling in a pile of broken glass.

It hurts, and he can feel every small shard of glass embedding itself into his skin at once. He doesn’t know how long he’s going to sit here, but maybe until someone walks in and yells at him for breaking something rather expensive. Maybe he deserves to be yelled at once in a while. He really doesn’t get reprimanded as much as he should. No matter what he does it’s always ‘valid’ and ‘okay’, but it’s really.. not. 

..

“Shuichi? You’ve been in here for a while so I wanted to check and see if you’re-- oh.. baby.” 

He can’t look up-- he can’t look up and give Rantaro a straight-forward explanation as to why he’s sitting in a pile of glass in the bathroom. No matter what answer he gives, he’s going to sound delusional either way. 

“Shuichi, can you stand up for me?” He can. It hurts a lot, but he can. It’s better to cooperate than cause more problems-- so he does. Rantaro holds his forearms so he doesn’t press his hands against the floor again, and get more glass in his hands-- even though that would be his own fault, anyways. 

He looks back at where he was sitting. There’s a small pool of blood where his hands were pressed against the tile, and there’s just glass.. everywhere. He feels terrible, because cleaning up all of the shards of glass will be a bitch to pick up. Especially because they have a cat-- and if she ingests it that’s a whole new problem and just… fuck. He really is self-centered, isn’t he?

“Alright, there you go. Let me get this cleaned up and then i’ll remove the glass from your skin, okay?” He really shouldn’t have to, he should get the glass out himself. He’s capable. He’s more than capable.

Rantaro maneuvers around him, grabbing a broom that rests against the wall near the sink. Shuichi idly stands by, staring down at his hands. His vision is blurry and he can’t.. remember when he started crying. 

..

“I think I swept all of it up. Can I see your hands?” He holds them out. They’re shaking, but he can’t stop. He really should say something, too. Apologize, maybe. But he doesn’t.

Rantaro has a pair of tweezers in his hand, and Shuichi flinches when they near his skin. He’s done this to himself, yet he’s still scared of the pain. 

“It’s only going to hurt for a minute, baby. I’ll be careful.” He doesn’t deserve to be spoken to like this. Why isn’t Rantaro mad? Or asking what happened in the first place? 

“Why aren’t you yelling at me?” He blurts. And Rantaro looks.. shocked. But he honestly doesn’t understand why. 

“Why would I yell at you?” Because it’s what he deserves? He doesn’t know how to answer.

“I deserve to be. I-I don’t understand _why_ you don’t shout at me I just-- I deserve it. All I do is cause you trouble, but you never get mad at me. I don’t understand.”

“You don’t deserve to be yelled at. I’m not your parents, Shuichi. I’m not here to hurt you, y’know? I love you more than anything and you know I wouldn’t get mad at you over something so harmless.”

“But I-- I just broke _your_ mirror, Rantaro. In _your_ house. Why don’t you find that rude?”

“If I recall.. it’s _our_ house.. and I would never get mad at you over an inanimate object, Shuichi. They can be replaced, but you can’t, right?”

Before he can say anything more self-deprecating, Rantaro kisses him. It’s quick, only really lasting a second but, it’ll never get old.

“..Yeah, I-- guess you’re right.”

**Author's Note:**

> y'all see how i can write more when it's angst?? y'all see this shit???
> 
> anywaaaaysss hmm. there's probably going to be more angst to come. sorry, it's just how it do babey.
> 
> also PFF, i tried to imitate the pose i was going for with shuichi but i couldnt get up bc my knees are so bad. i am wheezing


End file.
